“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.” ― Bob Marley
Have you ever been in that funk and you can’t seem to get out of it? It’s where one bad thing triggers another, and there is the massive domino effect from it.
I’m going through it. Yea, I said it. I’m in a place I’ve never been in terms of the “funk”, and I’m trying to deal with it. I’m a pretty strong woman when it comes to stress and emotions. I tend to bottle it all up. It can come across as being insensitive but I would rather go into my ugly cry alone, than around others. I listen a lot, contemplate a lot, pray a lot, but never really let out the emotions. Yesterday was different for me. I came to my roadblock and I knew I had to let it all out. There was one person I knew I could call and she would just listen to me. She would let me rant, cry like a baby, hyperventilate, get everything and anything off of my chest and would not judge me one bit, and so I did. I called her. Once I was done, she bluntly said, WeAreDAR/aDARable doesn’t need this right now. We need you to focus.
And so here I am. This is the first time I am actually saying this, but I need this project, more than this project needs me. The relationships we have built are some that will last a lifetime. I can feel it in my bones. To hear from our women in Costa Rica, giving us thanks and telling us how they benefited from their micro-enterprises and for the first time in their lives they have the ability to pay it forward… gives me chills. To know that we are SO close to achieving life changing opportunities for 10 women living on less than a $1 a day…is beyond me. To think, that my daughters can either say, “My mommy once had a project where she was wanting to help make the world a better a place.” Or say, “My mommy has this really cool project where women in different countries are given jobs to better their lives…” This puts it all into perspective for me. I need this project to show both Emery and Gigi that their mommy, being nobody special, with no money, and with faith alone, decided to dream big and make her journey count. I need this project to remind myself that my “funk” is NOTHING compared to what our women deal with. These people in Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and Haiti don’t worry about what they’re going to have for supper. No. They worry IF they are going to be able to have a supper. Think about it.
So I pray. God, I need You more than words can say. Right here in this moment. You know our hearts, You know our needs. You know every everything. So even if it’s just to speak Your name. I’m gonna pray.